butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
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