dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
