Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She's JV to your varsity
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
