i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
NoShamevember. You game?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
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