Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
