apparently the secret to your success is patron
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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