so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
