And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
