do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
