Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Ketchup is God's man juice
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
