I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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