If i come over, it means nothing
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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