Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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