4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize