He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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