he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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