never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
