like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
