What a fucking waste of an outfit
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
