forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
