My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
