just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Your cock deserves a montage
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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