Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
