i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
