Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
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Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
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Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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