They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
