her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
