Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
it was like having sex with a tree stump
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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