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it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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