I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
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