i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Im part way to drunk.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
