just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i think i have herpe
just one?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
