I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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