So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
