The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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