AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
