go do what you do best...puke behind churches
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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