There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Randomize
