she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
