Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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