So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
