Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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