Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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