I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
