The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
