So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
