I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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