The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
