why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
