i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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