he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Randomize
