When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
