If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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