I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
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We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
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THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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