Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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