my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
MIDGETS
????
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
