Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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