try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
