You're a womanizer and a bitch.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I supernannyed him into submission
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
