Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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