Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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