WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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