Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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