I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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