i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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